Embrace Winter: A Natural Time To Observe Nature and the Death Process

As nature retreats into dormancy and things die off, we too can turn inward, examining our lives and nurturing our inner selves and the death process. This season invites us to slow down, embrace solitude, and engage in meaningful contemplation, paving the way for renewal and transformation and deep inner work.  In other words, winter is profound time to engage in deep inner work where winter can support you naturally.

For me, I’ve recently had an important family member die, my brother-in-law. Who created a safety net not only for my sister but also for my aging parents. His heart was maybe a little too tender for this world and therefore struggled with alcoholism.

There was something bittersweet watching him make choices that we wish he didn’t make. We saw the unavoidable train wreck coming. We all have someone like this in our life where we wish we could help. Yet, helplessness is a power in itself if embraced with surrender. We also, all have somewhere where we are self sabotaging and we don’t see this clearly.

Stephen Jenkins in his book Die Wise writes about the death industry and how we have lost the art of dying. We now view a good death as fighting death. “He fought to the end.”  “Don’t mention the ‘D’ word.”

Stephen Jenkins talks about a good death is messy and letting others witness our death can be one of our greatest gift to give another. Our mind says ‘I don’t want to be remembered that way’ yet it is a fact of life that we all have to deal with. It shows loved ones it doesn’t look pretty to watch the life force drain away. Maybe giving this gift of allowing others to see our death would help them step out of the false image and superficiality that is paralyzing humanity. It shows us it doesn’t look pretty to watch the life force wither and yet there is a space of spiritual connection that is much more important than the physical facade that the billion dollar beauty industry is promoting.

Seeing my brother-law wither away brought home how much effort we put on our physical illusion. We are naked when all our truths come out that we are trying to hide. That we think no one else sees. Yet, how beautiful it was that everyone rallied around him loving him for him and not his false persona.

Fears come up when witnessing death. One relative said she was struggling with insomnia because she watched him fall asleep and never wake up. “What if I go to sleep and never wake up.” This highlighted where she could benefit with deep inner work. As I know this fear has governed her subconsciousness decisions.

As well, allowing her to witness how easy he slipped away. It doesn’t have to be a scary fight. He lived a life of control and yet at the end of his 3D life there was no control.

His mom was in the room. People were saying ‘a mother shouldn’t have to out live her child. It’s not right.’ Yet, as Stephen Jenkins writes about, that is clearly not a universal law. We say our children are our teachers. I know he highlighted a lot for her to learn in this life. He was multi-faceted. Being a fireman, and entrepreneur. A promising athlete sought after for a world-class baseball team in high school, as well as a recipient of a fine arts scholarship. There was so much depth to him. Ultimately, he showed her the way to transition to the other side when her time comes. He showed her his fear of death and yet he did it. He died.

Winter is a natural time to explore and honor death. Letting ourselves draw inward like the plants do. A re-grouping. Sending energy into our roots. A time for rest and contemplation. Perhaps some inner clean up work where we do deep inner work,  work on the subconscious and places we hide from ourselves can be of huge benefit.  It’s why we can’t really do the subconscious work on our own because we conceal it even from ourselves. Without embracing death and renewal, Spring will be just sowing the same old seeds. Being run by our subconscious fears and patterns.

I wish you a winter season filled with deep self-reflection and the warmth of friendship. With love, Elle