To love another is our greatest gift. It opens layers in our heart that only another can do for you. Losing this love can bring you to your knees and create dis-harmony for years, if not lifetimes. It can attract loveless relationships. However, navigating loss well, can open you to a myriad of spiritual connections.

Consequences of misdirected vows

In my work, I have witnessed single clients, clients in loveless relationships or clients who are in a lukewarm relationship, go into a past life. I have seen how they were so in love that when the lover or child died he/she made an unconscious or conscious vow to never love again. In grief, these clients had shut down parts of their heart when they committed to this vow. This past vow can still affect this life. As a Healing Practitioner, it takes a delicate finesse to open these layers back up that have been closed in past lifetimes, even in some cases many lifetimes. If you find yourself single or not quite giving of yourself for a long time, this could be what is inside.

A love so great.

However in the navigating loss they mistakenly locked up their heart and threw away the key. To find this key for a client has been some of my greatest work. To be honest, sometimes it takes quite awhile to find the key as so much has been buried on top of it. People who made such a vow can attract patterns of rejection and this often needs to be healed first. Betrayal can be a result of these vows as they opened to a negative force while creating such vows. Sometimes this rejection, betrayal and brutality needs to be healed first before we can even find the key that is under it all.

This is when people ask me ‘how much longer?’ I feel how can we put a time limit and price tag on your heart?

Added to this there is often an entity pushing relationships away. By entity, I mean an invisible friend wanting you to be alone. It guards your heart for you and you are comfortable with that. Many come to me when they are ready to open this layer and flees when we touch into it. The entity tells them that they are better not delving there. Confusingly, the entity isn’t a voice but a thought form that feels like your own. Under the whole thing can be this huge vow governing a person’s trajectory.

Sadly, I see this a lot and the entity and the pain below it is so big the client turns away and fills their day with anything that avoids the feeling. They will do anything but heal this. An opportunity missed as perhaps the very love they are turning away is around the corner but they will never find this lover because they have closed this part of themselves.

Often you could be in a relationship but not quite giving of yourself. Truly exposing your underbelly to another and even more, holding another person’s heart. The fear, insecurities and rejections that I have seen come up with clients has been some of my most important work. The joy I get when I hear you have found a new lover, left a bad lover or fell more in love with your chosen person brings tears of happiness to my eyes.

navigating loss

Navigating Loss: Embracing grief

Recently I have personally been brought to my knees as I lost someone dear to me. He died in a way that many judge and instantly close their hearts because of the dangerous sport involved. When I tell some people who have closed to parts of their heart, I have noticed they don’t respond to my vulnerability. They instantly share all the stories of how they have lost someone this way. I could join them and close my heart too, but that is not the way to emotional freedom and healing.

I see many people’s reactions and heart closings when I share my heart about this loss. A quick change of conversation, a sharing of a similar story. When we do this we miss the opportunity to feel a familiar loss or discomfort and that is the very thing that touches Love and opens our own heart. It can feel uncomfortably vulnerable. But in that vulnerably are precious essences of your heart that can hold another person’s heart. When you do that a stillness comes into the space that is so huge and encompassing for you and the person you are listening to.

You are gifting them with a touch of Spirit

Wings can land around you. This can all happen in a flash depending on how much of your own grief and stagnancy of the heart you have worked on. If you have done your inner work, then you can hold another person’s heart in this way and land Angels around you. If you haven’t then you will bounce this magical opportunity. Which would be a great loss.

A Practice: Be in your heart when a person shares. Sit in the stillness of empathy and compassion. Feel what comes up for you. Speak when guided to speak. Let the silence do it’s work.

XO, Elle