Past Life Vows: The Hidden Bonds That Block Love
A past life vow can set you on a trajectory of loveless or unfulfilling relationships that still influence you today. To love another is one of our greatest gifts. It opens layers of the heart that only authentic connection can reveal. Yet losing this love can bring you to your knees and create disharmony for years and sometimes even across lifetimes.
When we navigatie grief well and consciously release outdate vows, especialy those to never love again, the heart softens. Energy that once pushed love away begins to welcome it. What was once a pattern of rejection or lukewarm relating can shift into healthy, reciprocal connection.
The Consequences of a Misdirected Vow
In my healing work, I meet clients who are single for years, in loveless relationships, or “giving just enough” to keep things stable. Many revisit past lives where a lover or child died and, in the intensity of grief, they made a conscious or unconscious vow: never again. Parts of the heart closed at that moment and the closure carried forward.
Reopening these layers takes care and finesse. Sometimes we first meet patterns that formed on top of the vow: rejection, betrayal, or fear of intimacy. These can be healed. As the protective layers resolve, the heart’s “key” is found and the deeper vow can dissolve.
Clients often ask, “How much longer will this take?” My honest response: it’s hard to put a timeline on your heart. Healing unfolds at the pace of safety and readiness and that’s okay.
“I Will Never Be Controlled Again”
Another common vow arises from lifetimes marked by control or emotional harm. The nervous system learns: it’s safer to be alone. In this life, that promise can appear as hyper-independence or chronic ambivalence about partnership.
Sometimes there’s also an energetic presence. What I simply call a protective thought-form that guards the heart. It can sound like your own voice: “Don’t bother, love only hurts.” This isn’t failure; it’s a strategy that once kept you safe. With the right support, it can be released.
Even within existing relationships, these vows can limit how much of ourselves we bring forward. Learning to hold another person’s heart while staying present in your own is a profound part of the work. The joy of watching clients find new love, leave painful dynamics, or fall more deeply in love with their chosen partner is indescribable.
“I Will Never Be Controlled Again”
Another form of past life vow arises from lifetimes of control or abuse where one swore never to be vulnerable again. In those lives, the person may have been betrayed, manipulated, or silenced by a partner. The resulting subconscious promise in this life becomes: It’s safer to be alone.
Added to this is often an energetic presence; what I call an entity.
By “entity,” I mean a subtle thought-form or energy that guards your heart. It may feel like your own protective voice saying, You’re better off alone. But it’s not truly you. It’s a remnant of pain doing its best to keep you safe.
When clients begin to approach this layer, the entity often resists. It tells them to flee, to distract, to do anything except feel the depth beneath. Tragically, many turn away, filling their days with busyness or surface comforts. Missing the opportunity to open to the love that may be just around the corner.
Even those in relationships may find they are not fully giving of themselves, not truly holding another’s heart. Healing this fear and reclaiming intimacy is some of the most sacred work we can do.
The joy I feel when I hear a client say they have found a new lover, left a painful one, or fallen more deeply in love with their chosen partner always brings tears to my eyes.
Navigating Loss Without Closing Your Heart
There is an art to grieving in a way that doesn’t create long-term energetic consequences. Recently, I faced a personal loss that showed me how quickly we all try to protect ourselves. Changing the subject or sharing our own stories to avoid feeling. It’s human.
But when we can sit in stillness with someone’s pain without fixing or rushing we touch the place in ourselves that recognizes loss. That quiet presence is healing. In that space, the heart opens rather than hardens.
A Simple Practice: Listenitng from the Heart
When someone shares, stay in your own heart. Sit in stillness. Notice what arises. Speak only when it truly serves. Let a few breaths of silence do their work. This alone can begin to unwind old patterns that keep love at a distance.
A Practice:
When someone shares their heart with you, stay in your own.
Sit in stillness. Feel what arises.
Speak only when guided.
Let the silence do its work.
Healing the Vow, Welcoming Love
If you suspect a past life vow—or you feel blocked from fully opening—there is hope. Vows can be dissolved. The heart can be safely reopened.
Next step: Explore whether this work is right for you. Learn about Sacred Vision Healing or schedule a conversation. True happiness and deep love aren’t far away—they’re often just beyond the old promise.
Written by Elle Kerr-Wilson, founder of Amplify Your Light in Edmonds, WA—supporting seekers in Seattle, Lynnwood, and Everett through Sacred Vision Healing and meditation mentorship.
XO, Elle
Written by Elle Kerr-Wilson, founder of
Amplify Your Light in Edmonds, Washington Guiding seekers in
Seattle, Lynnwood, and Everett through meditation and Sacred Vision Healing.
If you feel called to experience this work, you can explore more on the
Healing and Meditation Mentorship pages.
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